Would you friend your mum on Facebook?
Just the other day I was talking to a co-worker (aged 16) who friended her parents on Facebook without a hassle, but now is having second thoughts. "I mean... what if she sees some of the stuff on there?" she said. "Sometimes I put a status update, then remember my mum is on there and delete it."
You wouldn't think a parent invasion of Facebook would affect most people, but with the membership of Facebook beginning to skew from primarily college students to the over-25 demographic, it's becoming more widespread than it may appear.
The Washington Post has weighed in on the issue, positing the nightmare scenario "When Mom or Dad Asks To Be a Facebook 'Friend'" with an investigation of the parental Facebook phenomenon. As the article discusses, young people are polarized over their parents on Facebook -- from those who add their parents with a shrug, to those who start groups and petitions and sites like "Oh Crap My Parents Joined Facebook", which is dedicated to "laugh[ing] at your Mom’s ridiculous Facebook status and the embarrassing message your Dad wrote on your wall".
In general, parents on Facebook is an uncool thing -- and I know, my dad is on, don't tell anyone. And for many people, it definitely changes the way you use your profile. Those pics from Saturday night will definitely be hidden or at least edited and restricted. And sometimes I've found myself being asked by my parents about something that happened during my day which I hadn't told them... until I remember the status update I added.
Most interesting in the Washington Post article, I think, was a quote from Steve Jones, a professor of communication at the University of Illinois, talking about why young people are hesitant about adding their parents on Facebook:
"What they want to keep most private is not something they wish to keep from strangers, it's the things they want to keep from people that know them," he said. "It's 'I don't care what someone who doesn't know me finds out. But I do care about what someone I know intimately [does].' "
It's an interesting thing to think about, that goes beyond just slight embarrassment at your parents trying to be hip. When you upload things to Facebook, are you worried about strangers finding out about you, or the people you know?
And does anyone else have parents-on-Facebook stories? Did you friend them or not? Dilemma or not?
Hey lucky enough my parents are not interested in social networking sites. All they do online are checking emails and reading news. But I have a friend who writes happy blog posts regularly so that her parents won’t worry about her. I guess I would do the same thing too if my parents know where’s my blog.
ReplyDeleteAnother friend of mine once wrote a post to complain her mother-in-law, but then her husband found out (she didn’t tell her husband her blog’s URL but her husband used to study IT), and she had to close down the whole blog.
Whenever my Dad threatens to join FB - I use the reverse-psychology jab and say "sure, I'll create an account for you" - to which he then backs off for fear of the "scary new thing" that is social networking sites - sorted. I do however have my godparents on FB and reluctantly had to accept their request. However I've found that I haven't really censored much since adding them. Its all down to personal choice at the end of the day but I don't think I care enough to change what I'm putting out on FB.
ReplyDeleteI'm also "lucky" in that my parents have no desire to join Facebook or anything of the like. But I have been noticing more and more of my friend’s parents have been joining. I’ve noticed this because Facebook has been suggesting I add them as friends. No thankyou.
ReplyDeleteI’m certain that even the most well-behaved of us are selective about what aspects of our social lives we share with our parents (and our friend’s parents). Yet for some of my friends, befriending their parents on Facebook does not represent a problem. For me at least, I use Facebook to stay connected with my friends and peers, not my bosses, tutors, or parents.
It may have as much to do with the digital divide as it does with selective sharing, but when it comes to staying connected, my parents and I use the phone.
Great post!
Hey
ReplyDeleteCool post!
Well my folks are not on facebook which is good news for me - they already know what I am up to every second of the day so knowing they could stalk me on facebook would drive me insane. I do however show them all - yes ALL the photos from the weekend so that really would not bother me but I guess just personal jokes or convos only meant for friends eyes should not be seen by the parentals. They did think they were oober cool having access to my facebook account while my brother was in China for 6 months so they could 'check out what he was up to' but as soon as he touched back in Melbourne the password was changed and they don't miss it at all. It's 'too hard' apparently and I know if they do create one I will have to maintain it - which really I can't be bothered going through all my own notifications let alone any one elses. Other family members from Australia and overseas are my friends on facebook and I censor absolutely nothing. The same things they see on facebook is what we discuss in 'real life' anyway so there are no secrets there!
It is such a dreaded horror to see the friend request from mum, dad, a family friend etc.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice I have come across is to change your privacy settings, so they cannot see status updates, tagged photos, or much information at all.
Should they catch on?
I'm not sure what to do when that situation arises.
Maybe create an alias as your name so that they can't find you!